My first day of meditating and I had what I consider to be a pretty major breakthrough: I realized that I am constantly thinking about the future. While trying to meditate, the places my mind kept wandering to were things I needed or wanted to do with the rest of the day. Thinking of things I could accomplish and check off my to do list.
First things first. Don’t beat yourself up if you find your mind wandering like this. In fact, if you’re just starting to meditate it would actually be more weird if you’re mind didn’t wander at all. Because the whole point of meditation is to slowly train our mind to slow down.
Now, as far as the future orientated outlook of mine goes, I have really not thought that much about it, but if anything I considered it beneficial. I try hard to be productive and make sure I’m getting the most out of the day.
What hit me is this: while that’s a worthy ambition, it afflicts me to the point I have trouble ever turning it off. I’m constantly thinking of the next thing I can check off of my to do list, and that creates a lot of “noise” in my mind. Which really translates to stress. So I know now that I need to spend time focusing on living in and enjoying the present.
Luckily, that’s one of the things meditation can better train me to do!
How about you? What was your experience like today?
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The experience you describe is pretty typical for me, too. I often observe (in my early-morning sittings) my thoughts “running,” getting excitedly focused on this or that idea, arriving at a new teaching approach or material, bouncing around my day’s itinerary, etc. I let them float away like leaves down the river, but it is amazing how busy the mind can be! I am curious to see if/how things change for me during the summer, when daily academic-life pressures ease up.